Samantha had always been a lively soul, so the day she missed work, people started to worry. She had never been away before. She’d never even missed a morning. Yet Friday 12th March, Samantha didn’t make it in. Her colleagues wondered what had happened to her. She was always in before everyone else. Nobody ever understood how she did it. She still found the time to help her three kids with homework, cook and clean for her husband and join them for the occasional drink at work.
Samantha wasn’t one to share the personal details of her life with others. She usually preferred to just get on with things. There was enough gossip going around as it was. Samantha didn’t need people asking questions. She didn’t tell anyone how often her partner was off on business. This would only lead to more questions.
People had to wonder why Samantha wasn’t yet married. They didn’t know it was because Tom had refused to put a ring on her finger. He’d moved in with her and bought a house with her. He’d even had three children with her. Marriage was just out of the question. Of course, that was not what Samantha told people if they asked her. They didn’t need to know Tom had refused marriage.
Samantha had always dreamt of a white wedding. If she ever went shopping with her mum, she would be in the magazine section, looking at wedding dresses. She’d practically picked her wedding dress at the age of twelve. If her parents were out, she would sneak into the closet and try on her mum’s gorgeous dress, longing for her own one day. She hadn’t known at that point that this day might never come.
Samantha had had a hard time coming to terms with the fact that she would never be married, at least not to Tom. He had categorically refused to discuss the matter. His parents had divorced, leaving him between his mum and dad at the age of six. Samantha knew this had defined his values, but she wasn’t his mum. She knew there was nothing she could do unless she wanted to lose him. So very early into their relationship, she dropped the matter altogether. Another secret desire to lock into the box of all things unsaid.
So often, Samantha had found herself alone with the kids. She worked practically full-time. Yet, she picked them up every day and followed her children’s lives like they were one. Tom would call, often to say he was running late. She would usually find out about his business trips the morning he was travelling. She knew by now not to contradict him. Tom couldn’t wait to remind Samantha about the house he had put the deposit down for, the mortgage he was paying off and the private school he was sending their children to. Samantha gave up trying to put up a fight. The speeches were so predictable. In the end, Samantha ran with it.
Nobody knew that so many nights, Samantha cried herself to sleep, knowing that Tom’s business trips weren’t entirely professional. A woman could sense these things. Samantha knew there would never be a good time to bring it up with Tom. She also knew that he would deny it like his life depended on it. He would go as far as to find a way to put the blame on Samantha. Samantha knew she was powerless and the thought of fighting back terrified her even more than the pain of knowing Tom was cheating.
When Samantha didn’t turn up, Shirley decided to take it upon herself to find out where Samantha was. Shirley and Samantha were quite good friends. They’d known each other for a good few years now, since the grand opening of the company. Samantha never really opened up about her home life so Shirley didn’t have much to go on. It didn’t take a genius to work out the situation had to be bad.
Shirley called her phone. She hadn’t been seen online since the night before which was unusual. Samantha was usually glued to her phone. Shirley decided to try again – still no answer.
‘I wouldn’t usually do this but I need to pop out. I’m worried about Sam. She hasn’t been in at all since yesterday morning. I wouldn’t do this to you, but I’m worried about her.’
Shirley’s manager didn’t hesitate for a second. She knew something was wrong.
‘Go. Take as long as you need. I’ll cover you in the meeting. The clients won’t be here for a while anyway. Just keep me updated, yeah?’
‘Course I will. I think something’s really wrong.’
Shirley fled. She figured Samantha had to be at home. It was a good place to start. Shirley drove, her heart palpitating. Something had to be seriously wrong. She could feel it. Was there anything to suggest it yesterday? There had to be. Shirley recalled their conversation.
‘I’m off, Shirl. If I don’t see you before I go, thanks for all your help. You’re the best friend I’ve got, you know.’ Come to think of it, it was strange. Shirley hadn’t picked up on anything until now, yet her heart was telling her something had happened to Samantha. She parked on the double yellow line outside Samantha’s place and ran to the door. Samantha had once given her a spare key. Tom didn’t know but considering he was never home, it couldn’t hurt to use it.
‘Come on. Damn keys!’ Shirley went straight for the living room. She thought she could see Samantha’s lifeless body in the corner, a note still in her hand.
‘I’m leaving you Sam. I wish I could say we have a future together but we don’t. I’ve met someone. I’ll keep up the payments for the house and the kids but I can’t stay with you. We both knew it wasn’t going to work. I’m sorry.’
‘Sam, can you hear me? Sam! What have you done Sam?’ Shirley was panicking. ‘Right, no time to panic, come on Shirley – think!’ Shirley got her phone out and dialled 999.
She waited for what felt like hours. Within twenty minutes, the paramedics had arrived.
‘What’s wrong with her? Is she going to be ok? Come on Sam. Come on!’ Shirley couldn’t hold back the tears any longer.
‘Come and sit down Shirley. You’ve had a shock. Samantha’s collapsed. She’s still breathing, but we need to take her in. Do you want to come with us?’
‘Of course. Let me just call my manager. We’ve all been sick with worry.’
‘Take your time. We’re going to take her into the ambulance. Can you follow us in?’
Shirley called and took the rest of the day. She would wait at Samantha’s bedside for as long as she needed her to. Shirley was dozing off as Samantha finally woke up.
‘Shir…’
‘Don’t try to speak, lovely. Here, sip some water. You collapsed. I thought for a minute… Well I thought I might never see you again. Why didn’t you tell me things got so bad?’
‘The kids…’
‘Don’t worry about the kids. I’ve called my hubby and the school. He’ll pick them up. We’ll keep them with us for the next few days. We’ll work something out.’ Shirley could finally see what was happening. Samantha had reached rock bottom. ‘Why didn’t you talk to me, Sam? You know you can trust me.’
‘I… couldn’t. I wanted to but I couldn’t.’
‘Ok, lovely. Don’t try to speak. Just get some rest. That’s what you need. Everything’s going to be ok. You’re not alone. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.’
Shirley watched on as Samantha gently nodded off, her eyes full of tears, sadness and loss. It was going to be a long road ahead, yet one that Shirley would be on with Samantha.